I don’t know exactly where it came from. That feeling crept in so quietly, I barely noticed. All I knew was that somewhere between emotional explosions and black holes, I started to feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time, a pulse of life.

Slowly, the darkness began to lift. The voids got shorter. The crashes softer. And when I fell, I didn’t stay down as long. I began to tune into myself. Not perfectly, not instantly, but enough to realize something in me was shifting. I started to want. Not just to survive, but to live. To experience. To see. To laugh. To breathe deeply. To exist in full color.

I’ve spent most of my life in anxiety. The past haunted me and the future devoured me. But now… now there’s silence. Not the kind that’s empty, but the kind that’s full. And for the first time, that silence doesn’t scare me. Inside it, I find peace. I find me. A voice I had buried under years of fear now whispers: “You are here and you are enough.” I used to be afraid of that quiet. But now I know, it’s home.

I’ve always been “too much.” Too emotional, too intense, too deep, too sensitive, too loud, too honest. I learned to dim myself, to shape-shift, to avoid being seen. I became a master at disappearing in plain sight. At home, there was no room for my needs, someone else’s always mattered more. And when I tried to shine… someone always shut the lights off. I was always second choice. Always too complicated. Always wrong.

And I believed them.

I believed that my existence was a mistake. That I was broken. But now… now I’m starting to see the truth: I’m not broken. I’m sacred. Wild. Raw. Soft. Electric. I wasn’t born to fit in. I was born to create a whole new blueprint. I was born to make a home for the ones like me, the ones who feel too much, see too deep, speak too honestly.

Saturn is returning. The date is marked: May 24th. My Saturn Return. My karmic check-in. My sacred reckoning. And I won’t lie, when I first learned what this transit meant, I felt fear. Deep fear. Saturn rules my chart. But now… there’s something else rising. Excitement. Readiness. Reverence. I know this will be intense, but I also know that it’s the exact fire I need to burn through the illusions I’ve been clinging to. I don’t want safety anymore. I want truth. I want alignment. I want power that comes from within.

I believe a better life is possible. I know how cliché that sounds, but I don’t care. I’m done apologizing for hope. The things that once felt unreachable, peace, freedom, passion, connection, adventure, they feel like real options now. Maybe not immediate. But possible. And that possibility makes me breathe deeper. Nothing is ever too late. But you have to want it. You have to decide that this is your moment. That you are allowed to begin again. You will fall, yes. But you will rise faster each time. Because your soul remembers the way.

Something is unfolding inside me. I can’t name it yet, but I can feel it. It’s ancient and new all at once. I don’t think I’m meant to walk this path alone. I think I’m becoming a guide. A voice. A channel. But not the kind that stands above others, the kind that stands beside. Raw. Real. In progress. Building something with others like me. We don’t need to have it all figured out. That’s not the assignment. The assignment is to show up. Fully. Wildly. Honestly. Repeatedly.

Life is not a punishment. It’s a process. A long, messy, holy unfolding. I let myself feel, I don’t run from the waves anymore, I ask them: what are you showing me? What still needs to be met, healed, honored? And I remind myself: Things are always working out for me. Even when I don’t see how. Even when it hurts. Even when I doubt it.

And if you’re still reading this… maybe you needed to hear it too.

Breathe.
You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.
You’re not alone.
You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

Love, Sofy